blog 52

I just realized how many fears I have. I don’t feel like I’m scared of a lot, but once I stop and think of it I really am. Honestly, I am scared of the dark, heights, needles, swallowing pills, spiders, and betrayal. Now, I can deal with the dark. But I have to try. Naturally, first response, I am afraid. Maybe it’s just me, maybe its typical human fear of the unknown. Heights, obviously is just because falling to my death seems highly painful.  Needles though, that’s a little different. I’ve had a lot of needles in my body, as far as all of my totaled injuries go. They had to stick a needle deep into my chin muscle when I had my car accident. Then it didn’t seem to matter, but even now after having my face ripped from the muscle, needles terrify me. A simple routine shot at the doctors is enough to make me dizzy. It’s not the pain, it’s the sight. Swallowing pills, well that’s not so common. I have this weird thing where I can’t willingly swallow even the tiniest pill. I will definitely force myself too if I absolutely have to, but not without gagging feeling sick afterwards. Again, it’s really the sight, not the feeling. Or more so the thought, as if I my mind keeps telling me I can’t do it. Weird, I know. Spiders are a common fear. I love animals, and I can actually pick up a spider if I’m feeling particularly brave or compassionate, but overall they terrify me. That’s just how I am. Betrayal is a common human fear. It makes my heart race when I think of someone close to me betraying me. Nevertheless it will always happen to everyone, so best just to get over that right now.